


That One South Park Episode Except It's Kaoru and Chisato

by KaedeWrites



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game), South Park
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chisato is Kyle, F/F, Kanon is Nichole, Kaoru is Cartman, Not Serious, at all, but it's definitely not serious, it's not exactly a crackfic with bad spelling and stuff, kaoru is gay, this was just something i thought would be funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaedeWrites/pseuds/KaedeWrites
Summary: Basketball game.Jumbotron.I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky...You know what I'm talking about.





	That One South Park Episode Except It's Kaoru and Chisato

Things really were looking up for Chisato Shirasagi.

Her band was greatly improving, her friendships were blossoming, her grades were straight A's, and her weight was low and she was completely healthy.

The only way things could be better was if she had a cute date. Which, she did get.

Kanon Matsubara was probably the most adorable girl she had ever seen. The structure of her face was soft, and her cheeks looked so soft and squeezable. Her eyes were beautiful and innocent, and the way she styled her hair was the cutest thing ever.

In other words, Chisato was totally smitten and probably the luckiest girl in the world to be with such a goddess.

Chisato learned quickly- after much time of observing Kanon's personality and learning her likes and dislikes -that Kanon loved basketball. Which, worked out perfectly, because Chisato had obtained tickets to watch an NBA basketball game.

Things were going well. They were having fun watching the game play-out, enjoying food, and Chisato was particularly enjoying just being with Kanon at all.

But that all ended when an especially horrifying voice rang out through the court.

"Attention! Attention, please!" they spoke.

Chisato and Kanon looked around, confused for a moment. Chisato soon realized the jumbotron was the only possible source of the sound, and they both looked up. The person she saw made her recoil.

_Kaoru fucking Seta._

Chisato's eyes widened in confusion.

"This is a message for all of you out there who have just ended a relationship," she continued. "Sometimes, love is hard. But you can't just run away from it! When you start to have something special, you have to  _work at it_!"

What the fuck is she going on about!?

"Even though it might seem like the world is against you, you still have to hold on- with both hands! Don't let society dictate who you can can't be with."

She took a long pause, and Chisato feared what was to come next.

"Chisato, I love you, babe."

**_Fuck._ **

"You can run all you want, try and pretend you don't like me, but  _dammit-_ when we kiss, there's magic!"

Chisato furrowed her eyebrows, and a vein in her head practically exploded.

"Don't let it go, Chisato."

To Chisato's horror, the crowd around Chisato and Kanon awed to what was happening onscreen.

"I want to hold you every morning and love you every night, Chisato. I promise you nothing but love and happiness. I swear!" she suddenly burst out into song. Chisato's eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets.

"By the moon and the stars in the sky~"

Suddenly, Chisato's face appeared on the jumbotron, and it wouldn't have been possible for her face to convey any more disgust.

"I'll be there, Chii."

Oh my god. She even brought up the  _fucking_ nickname.

"I swear-" the crowd began to awe even more "-like the shadow that's by your side! Chisato, swear to god I'll be there! For better or worse," suddenly, a man stepped out behind Kaoru.

_Is that fucking Brad Paisley_?

"Better or worse!" he sang after her.

"'Till death do us part-"

"Death do us part-"

"I'll love you with-" and Brad Paisley chimed in for this next part, "-every gay beat of my heart!

"I swear Kyle-"

"I swear Kyle," Kaoru finishes after Brad Paisley.

The crowd erupted in claps, cheers, and yells, and Chisato could not be more embarrassed if she tried. All that was left for her to do was cover her growing blush behind her hands and silently die.

And the worst part of it? Kaoru was a pretty good singer and Chisato didn't completely hate how the song sounded on the ears. Seeing Kaoru's frustratingly handsome, stupid face up there singing made Chisato want to shrivel away in a hole to never be seen again. Especially not by Kanon.

Chisato decided she needed to leave. She stood up, abruptly, and Kanon asked, "where are you going?"

"I... I don't know," she honestly admitted. "But I need to get away from that  _gaywad_ up there!"

Everyone kept cheering as Chisato angrily stormed out. The claps seemed to almost be pounding right next to her ears as everyone's smiling eyes pierced her and watched her leave. Apparently, though, Kaoru still had one more thing to say.

"Thank you. Thank you all. That's all I wanted to say," she paused. "That, and... the Batmobile is outside."

As Chisato's hand gripped the door, watching Kaoru, she started to wonder if she was having a nightmare.

"Seriously, you guys gotta see it, it's the Batmobile- it's outside!"

A man suddenly rose to his feet, exclaiming a, "what!?"

He ran to leave, and everyone followed after.

Chisato could not believe what the hell was happening. All she knew is that she had a lot of feelings to be sorted out.


End file.
